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funnybunny21187
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Name: Melly
Country: China
Birthday: 2/11/1987
Gender: Female
Interests: enjoyin music, rockin on drums, singin, karaoke, dance, Antonio Velocity (my baby), hitting the birdie around, Clubbin, chillin, havin fun!
Expertise: ....sleeping, hangin with mai friends, taking care of people...
^.~ wandering around...doin whtever
Spending time with my baby!!
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research
Message: message meEmail: email me
AIM:  funnybunny21187
Yahoo:  mellylin05
Member Since:
1/26/2004
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| Im having trouble....
Im having trouble deciding what I can do....
There is this person, and we used to be really good friends, but then things happened, and we arent anymore...
n ive tried really hard to patch things up, but it just seems like I cant stand her.....
her selfish ways hurts me directly and indirectly....
the way she uses other people hurts me,
the way she uses me for her own boosts in her ego or what not....significantly hurts me.
and I dont know what to do.
Everytime I try to talk to her, she either blames everything on other people or she turns it around and makes it about her, or she takes everything and puts it on me, criticizing me, blaming me for the problem....
And it gets to the point where ...I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE...n IM ABOUT TO BREAK!
It just hurts so bad.
I cant even have a decent conversation with her.
She talks down to me, like Im nothin, like i dont know anything
Yes she's older, but its not fair to me!
I dont appreciate being talked down to, being treated like I dont know what Im talking about and that what she has to say is always better than what I have to say.
IT BREAKS ME!
I have been stepped over all my life, and when i got to college, I thought that it would be a new change, and that people dont do that.
Boy was I wrong.
n she is my lil sib...in APO, n I realized that she is one of the few that have hurt me, stepped over me, abused me in the way that as long as her ego is high, she doesnt care who's she bashes down.
I am suprised and depressed and disappointed.
I dont know what else to say.
I usually dont complain this much, I just suck it in,
but it gets to a point where...It becomes overwhelming, and i want to cry everytime she talks to me.
Everytime she tlks to me, its in a demeaning tone, n a tone of "Im better than you"
and it just ISNT FAIR! IT JUST ISNT RIGHT!!
I really really dont know what to do....
I dont want to lose a friend,
but i dont want to hurt anymore.
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| So as spring break comes to a close...i feel like i should make a blog...so here it is....
Beginning of spring break....
Left Friday night for IRVINE...Arrived saturday mornin at 6am...
went to Andrew's place...took a nap till like 11/12 ish...n then the real fun began....
Saturday
Soo....Sheri came over..n then me, Andrew and Sheri went to Thai Spice..n had thai food....mmmmmmmmmmm.....
spent most of the day touring IRVINE SPECTRUM CENTER...I got a tatoo....brush on of course....but it was still hella cool while it lasted....(for like 3 days)....
n then we went to South Coast Plaza....I saw 2 Lambourghinis, one yellow parked Lambourgini, and one orange one on the road.....saw a Maserati, and a Bently...
Ahhhh...I was a happy camper....
Then we went n got ice cream..the best ever....soo good...strawberry cheesecake....=D
n then.....we went to LA...to visit Sabrina and Abraham.....
I fell asleep on their couch...n they woke me up when they were ready to go to Garden Square....it was kinda gross...but eh....
then we went bowling....n i sucked horribly..but it was fun.....=)
On the way back down to Irvine...we got stuck in traffic...this was 12am....traffic...O.O
....Finally got back...n jus slept..
Sunday!
Woke up around 12...haha...hung around...waited for Jonathan to arrive from San Diego...
Sherri came by, so did Sabrina and Abraham...
then Jon finally arrived, n we went to go eat Korean BBQ...mmmm...that was goood....
The rest of the day, we jus chilled...played video games..talked...n i failed at super nintendo...hahaha..... was very fun!
Monday
DISNEYLAND!
So I spent the day at Disneyland with Jonathan Lee...n we met up with Vigil n ppl....or tried to.....
IT PISSED ME OFF!!
I would call her and try to meet up with her for lunch or a ride or something...but all she ever said to me was..."jus go to Disneyland"...n so im like..."I AM AT DISNEYLAND"....
n it jus seemed like she didnt care...so im like...okay...
so i jus spent the day with Jon...it was fun nonetheless....
We rode like every ride, indiana jones ride like 3 times...learned new trivia about that....rode on space mountain twice, buzz lightyear twice...n we met hella cool people while waiting in line....it was quite nice....
OH n we watched the night parade...n i rode on jon's shoulders...haha...IT WAS HECKA FUN!!
_____________________________________________________________________________________________
n then FINALLY! at like 7pm...we run into vigil...n she's all like "MELISSSA!!" n im...jus pretty much annoyed as heck.....it was quite lame....so me n jon jus said hi n we went to go get food...
Then we watched the fireworks...super kool...n went to the PETER PAN ride...then SPACE MOUNTAIN for the last time...some AWESOME STUFF...n then met vigil...cuz she was my ride....
So here's the thing...
The WHOLE DAY...im like stressing because I dont know what's going on with rides n stuff....cuz vigil didnt call me at alll...throughout the whole weekend.....to tell me plans changed or what not....n it pissed me off
OHH..okay..so ...like initially we were sposed to leave right after disneyland for home...but she didnt bother to mention to me that she decided otherwise...that we were gonna stay the nite. So im like..okay...i ask andrew if i can spend another night at his place.....n he's like sure.
HOWEVER! , vigil didnt tell me we would be spending the nite at Ivette's house in LA, so she didnt tell me i was sposed to bring my stuff to disneyland n such....n so i had to go to Andrew's and pick up my stuff and quickly leave, ...n THEN it turns out we stayed in Irvine...like at the jack in the box next to andrew's place for a while....n we didnt get to Ivette's till like 3 in the morning.........so i was pissed off...
n IM usually a FLEXIBLE person...except....because JON drove me n such...it wasnt fair for him to have to put up with this...n drive me back to Irvine n then back up to LA again...because Vigil refused to drive me until the very last minute....
it jus really sucked....cuz I didnt know what to plan and how to plan my things...like accomodation wise....n its not fair for others...so again..im angry.....
TUESDAY
so today we set out for the Bay area.....
n im still pissed at her...I give her $40 for gas money...this only includes the trip up and trip down......n im expecting that we're sharing the gas money...cuz she was initially already going to irvine....so I figured $40 is sufficient...cuz the whole entire weekend...she didnt drive me ANYWHERE...NOWHERE!! n it was retarded that she wanted more money....n im like.....u know what? she should jus be glad im paying for gas...cuz if i didnt come at all....she wouldve had to pay for it herself....if she makes a big deal out of it...ill pay her more....
ITS JUST NOT RIGHT...cuz i was already feeling bitter about how she treated me the previous day/nite.......
but iono...thats jus me........
SO THAT'S IT!! This is my whole Socal trip...!!
IT WAS FUN!! minus Vigil and drama........
THANKS JON!! n ANDREW!! and SHERI! and SABRINA AND ABRAHAM!!
=)
The rest of the break was pretty cool....
Chilled with family....
my sister especially...we went shopping ( she's the only person I really go shopping with n buy stuff)......
hung out...had great conversations....
MAN...Im gonnna miss her sooo much! Sniff sniff.....
n Had dinners out with the family a couple of times....good family bonding....
Visited Brasher,
hung out with RACHEL and PATRICIA...had pie..!!......mmmmmmmmm....pie!!
n thts about it....
My sister's leaving tomorrow.....Im already missing her.....
so im gonna go hang out with her....
Ill update some more later!!
PEACE!!
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| I miss him...I do...and I feel really bad, because I lost him.
He doesnt wanna talk to me, or associate with me, no matter how hard I try.
I know I made a mistake, and said somethings that I shouldnt have said, but im only human right?
I guess for now, I should jus remember and cherish the good times that we've had and move on with my life.
There's no point for me to keep regretting and blaming myself for something that has already happened,
I am jus letting it get the best of me.
Its ever so hard to concentrate nowadays,
Its hard to not cry with the slightest remembrance of him.
I feel like I want to disappear, I wish that we have never met, or never gotten together.
I would rather have a friend or a stranger that ive never known, as opposed to a enemy.
It breaks my heart!
Ive never cried so hard ( in a non death situation).....in my life
I think im letting guilt overtake me.
But its just soo hard,
Its hard to forget,
its hard to put it behind me
its hard to just move on.
To know that someone hates me,
to know that someone i care about, doesnt wanna know me anymore
IT BREAKS ME!
IT HAS BROKEN ME!!
So...i guess i should find a way to piece myself together again.
AGAIN and AGAIN, I let my guard down and get hurt.
What has become of me. WHy am i like this?
I am SORRY!
I really am! I didnt mean to cause any trouble!
I just still wanted to be friends...............
.............................
But I guess I pushed too hard for friendship,
and eventually pushed you away.
Im sorry.
I hope you forgive me.
Good nite!
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| three sleepless nights
this isn't how it's supposed to be
but you're so good at taking your time
to get back to me
i will wait for you forever
if you would just ask me
i thought that i could change you
but you changed me
but it doesn't feel right
holding someone else's hand
together on phone lines
and living at two opposite ends
it scares me to think that you could find takers
other than me
and better than me
but your head is elsewhere
and i'm talking enough for both of us
when will you see it's not (it's not)so easy for me
you careless
and whispered
insulting
and bruising
and i thought
that you said
things were improving
these laces are untied
but my feet are still walking away
away
(i am far from your eyes, your eyes i trusted, you said forever) i never thought that you could say these words
is this really happening? (don't say that we can still be friends)
erase my name from this page
how can you take all these days (what is inside me what have i done)
and throw them away (is this the only way that you will notice me)
as i sit here waiting for you (dead words for closed ears all this is sung for you)
i stay up nights (if you are still pretending this is what's right)
until stars leave the sky (why can't you look atme can you only see)
knowing what my dreams can take away (sides, your side, can take away)
walk away from me this night is done.
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| Heyy All! Yes yes...its been awhile...n i havent gotten back to the swing of things here at da xanga...so this will be quite short..
I recently met this AWESOME guy!
He is just totally awesome! He is the nicest, weirdest, cutest, sexiest, most caring and sensitive guy I have ever met. He has the heart of an angel, he believes in me, in everything i do...throws complements at me like 24/7, and makes me feel like I am okay the way I am, and shouldnt need to change at all. He makes me feel warm and safe.
HE IS WONDERFUL! he makes me laugh, comforts me when im feeling down. I really really really like him.
heehee...thts all for now...I'll be back!
<3
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